My Truthspeaking Tour
The letter began just like any other letter I'd written to her... Dear Mom. And then instead of general niceties and smalk talk, I proceeded to share what growing up as her daughter was like... for good and for challenging. For the first time, I revealed, among many other sad and hard-to-admit truths, how pervasively unlovable I felt as a child. I shared how neglected, isolated and unimportant I felt, constantly and desperately seeking to be noticed, valued and prioritized. I offered several examples of where those roots of unlovability grew from and how those roots led to shameful choices and how those choices in turn have shaped my life... how those roots have created struggle... but also how those roots have made me a compassionate, attentive, resourceful and resilient woman.... roots which I am now so truly grateful for.
This letter was the launch of a now two month long (and continuing) journey that I call my "Truthspeaking Tour." I've been navigating the heart and mind wrenching experiencing of uncovering and honoring the layers of my truths. And when I say wrenching, I mean utterly torturesome. Completely vulnerable, raw, real. But also, undeniably freeing. A freeing so powerful that can only be understood when felt.
You see the truth that we speak (and write) guides... and limits or opens... the way we perceive the world. Exploring, understanding, owning and sharing our truth is an authentic sharing of our heart. Coming to our truth, and even more so, sharing our truth can be scary. Really f*&king scary. So we typically don't. We find a million reasons not to and we justify them all.
So what does it mean to "truthspeak"? To truthspeak, to speak our truth, is to wholeheartedly accept how we feel and communicate our purely personal reality and awareness, with grace, gratitude and total accountability. To truthspeak is to express in an unfiltered, uncensored and unapologetic way. Truthspeaking is not volatile, aggressive or abrasive, but rather gentle and loving. Truthspeaking is not impulsive or reactive, but rather thought-filled and intentional. Truthspeaking is not blaming, but rather sharing. Truthspeaking holds no expectations for outcome apart from just releasing our truth into the Universe so that we can achieve personal freedom. And it is from this place of freedom, that long awaited healing can occur... that the path to emerging as ourhighest self, can begin.
The most interesting experience for me during my truthspeaking tour is how it is equally becoming a gratitude tour. In every effort to share my truth, there has laid an unavoidable path of gratitude... gratitude to those people for being integral teachers in my classroom of life, knowing to my core that those hardships presented shook me and shaped me into who I am becoming today... thoroughly committed to every detail being essential to my journey. And the most beautiful (and somewhat surprising) thing is that in every single crazily courageous truthspeaking experience, I've grown closer, not more distant from the receiver of my truth. Which is proof that people respect and honor vulnerability and authenticity. Even my mom.